Everyone wants to feel satisfied and happy in life. Sometimes we want to obtain more things in order to fill up what we feel lacking in our lives. For example, after we have bought books, we feel that we have acquired knowledge; after we have bought fitness equipment, we feel that we have achieved health; we think that securing a partner means embracing happiness. In the end, we discovered that true satisfaction does not depend on how much we have, but on finding something that truly suits us. True satisfaction also requires our efforts to cultivate it.

In the Strength Model, there is a concept of “anchors” and “niches”. In daily life, we need to meet different “anchors” requirements, such as family, work, social interaction, entertainment, study, health, security, emotion, spirituality, exploring the meaning of life, etc. If most of our “anchors” are satisfied, our life will feel satisfied and happy. On the contrary, we will feel lost and helpless; to feel satisfied in this “anchor” depends on whether the “niche” of the anchor is good, such as family relationships, colleague relationships, learning environment, work atmosphere, sufficient resources, etc. A good niche the following characteristics:

• Communion and equality
• Recognize everyone’s value and contribution
• Respect everyone’s different opinions
• Opportunity for growth
• An open attitude
• Sufficient resources

Only with good niches can we develop an ideal personal life. However, the definition of ideal life is different for everyone. Just like wearing a well-fitting shirt, it must be tailor-made. In the same way, to make life satisfying, we can try to take the following three steps to find your ideal answer.

Step One: Why am I doing this? (Meaning)

In Greek mythology, there is a story about Zeus punishing Sisyphus by asking him to push the stone up the mountain, and then let the stone roll back down the mountain. Repeatedly, he did some meaningless things .

Have you ever felt that you don’t know why you are doing what you are doing? It feels like you just want to do it, but you don’t know why. Maybe someone else is asking you to do it, or maybe it is because everyone else does it, so you do it too? In a family, you may have to handle housework and prepare food for your family. Do you know why you do this? Is it based on responsibility, or is it based on caring for the needs of your family? You can ask yourself why this is important to you? When you understand the meaning behind things, you will not be confused and you know the intention behind it. Then, even if it feels hard sometimes, it is worth it .

Step 2: What is the purpose of doing this? (Purpose)

Many people go to the market and don’t know what they want to buy or what kind of food they want to cook. In our daily life, do you know what you hope to get? I know friends who know exactly what they want and then work hard to achieve it. When we know what we are seeking, half the battle is won. Many large companies spend a lot of time and money to find the development direction of their company, because they know that to succeed, they must know their own direction and goals, and then they will find a way to achieve it. The same is true in life .

Step 3: Is this right for me? (Identity) 

What suits you may not suit me. Everyone is unique, with different identities and needs. The beauty of a flower is different from the beauty of a butterfly. Only by confirming your identity and role and finding the beauty that suits you can you feel satisfied and happy .

For more information on mental health, please visit our foundation’s mental health information platform 👉 www.eplatform.hkmhf.org

Special thanks :

Jebsen Group Charity Foundation support

Senior social worker Mr. WONG Stephen

Translated by: WAN Pak Leong George